Do you ever find yourself constantly worrying about what others think of you? Do you find yourself constantly seeking validation from others? Do you let other people’s opinions affect your decisions? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are not alone. Many people struggle with the fear of negative evaluation, and it can be a significant obstacle to living a happy and fulfilling life.
I have personally gone through this phase when I was a teenager but now I can say that I’ve managed to overcome it. Remember that you’ll never be able to fully overcome it but you’ll able to manage your thoughts properly. Since we do live in a society, we will be affected by it but with the techniques that I’m going to share with you, you will able to be in control. So in this article, we will explore some practical strategies on how not to care what others think about you.
Understand why you worry about what others think
To understand why you worry about what others think, we have to find the root cause of the problem. Do you want to be liked by all? Are you afraid of being judged? From where are all these negative evaluations are coming from? What are your insecurities in life? Have you as a child been ridiculed and have a low self-esteem? Understanding the root cause and addressing it, can help you to stop thinking what others are thinking about you.
Recognize that you can’t please everyone
Remember my buddy, it is impossible to please everyone. Who doesn’t want to be liked? But you need to remember you need to love yourself first. See what is important for you. Just don’t do things to please others and think they’ll like you and in the process sacrifice your own happiness. You’ll instantly regret it when all the good you’ve done is just gone unnoticed when something bad happens. So see that you’re not compromising what you want in life always. Honestly speaking, most people are worried what others think about themselves and not you. I shall leave you with a beautiful story that shows, you just can’t please everyone.
Set boundaries and practise it
Setting boundaries is an essential part of learning how not to care what others think about you. It’s important to stand up for yourself and to say NO to others when you don’t want to do it. Practise it and get used to it. At first it will be difficult. Thoughts like ‘What will they think of me’ will come to your mind but over time you will get stronger. The mind is like a muscle, the more you train it, the stronger it’ll get. But remember, don’t go for people’s approval of you, don’t care of being liked. The ones who like you will continue to like you. Just imagine how easily they would say NO to you if you would ask them the same thing. DON’T FEEL GUILTY, YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. I’m not saying not to help when truly needed.
Be true to yourself
This point is very connected to the previous. Being true to yourself means being authentic and honest with yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to express your opinions or be who you are. When you’re true to yourself, you attract people who appreciate and respect you for who you are.
Build your Self Esteem and Self Confidence
I strongly feel this the most important thing you can do to overcome what others think about you. By building your self-esteem you will be more sure of yourself. Learn to love yourself. Check your internal thoughts. Talk positively to yourself. Learn to take criticism properly. The very fact you feel that others are more important than you, is a sign that you have low self-esteem and hence you value what they think about you more important. When you realise that they are normal human beings just like you, who also make mistakes and have their own faults, can be liberating for you. And how do you build your self-esteem up is by building your self-confidence and thinking positively about your own self. Never put yourself down. NEVER!
And how can you build your self-confidence, you ask? By achieving small tasks and giving credit to yourself. – However small they might be. From being able to paint well to speaking on the stage. Now let’s look at a situation. Let’s say you can dance or play a video game really well, would you really think what others think about you? If you ever would, you’d think positively right? It’s the things in life that you’re aren’t good at, you might judge your own-self.
Practice mindfulness techniques
Being mindfulness is basically aware of yourself and what you think. Recognise these thoughts, hold them in your mind and know that these are only thoughts – no one has said anything to you. Talk positively to yourself. Tell yourself, that you’re are great and special, and the other person isn’t perfect as well. Make sure that you talk only positively to yourself. Using the technique of slow deep breathes, these help a lot. Have you ever noticed, when you’re scared, your breathing pattern changes to a fast rhythm? By being mindful and aware, you need to control this breathing pattern and make it steady as if you were calm. Complement the breathing with positive self-talk, it will do wonders.
Focus on the present and have a purpose
This can sound ridiculous but if done consciously will be a habit and you’ll not worry what others think. My friends, just by living life in the present moment, you’ll not have time to think about unwanted things. Concentrate on what you’re doing. If you dancing in front of a crowd, enjoy yourself and think positively about yourself. Don’t let the negative self-talk start, what others might be thinking about you. Have a purpose in life. You’ll won’t believe how having a purpose in life, has made me so productive and feel so great about myself that I literally have not time to think about unwanted things.
How to cope with social anxiety
Social anxiety can be a significant obstacle to learning how not to care what others think about you. If you struggle with social anxiety, it can be helpful to practice exposure therapy, where you gradually expose yourself to social situations that make you uncomfortable. It’s also essential to seek professional help if your social anxiety is severe or impacting your daily life. If you’ve faced rejection are struggle to cope with it, you may read this article here : 6 Tips on how to deal with rejection
In conclusion
Learning how not to care what others think about you takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. Remember, no pain – no gain. It’s at times, by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and practising the above mentioned techniques, you’ll realise that over time the thoughts were only in your head and not real. You should also understand that this can be just a phase that you will go through in your teens and with the experiences in your life, you’ll get a stronger mindset and these things will only be a thing of the past. Remember, you are in control of your thoughts and actions, and you have the power to live your life on your terms.